rome redux: saturday edition

today's notes and news from around our fading empire:

• file under: "I Went To Paraguay And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt (and Waterboarding Internship)." no word as of yet if they've asked the Peace Corps kids to work for other agencies in addition to spying on Cubans and Venezuelans for the State Dept... i'm hoping a certain red-haired cousin comes home from South America with not just the newfound skill to construct palapa roofs and small aqueducts made of leftover plastic bags, but also an internship in torture (mothafucka) torture.
• fuck all you Catholics, more. not only did you fuck up the last 9 prezzes, you're in line to fuck up the 10th, too. well, actually, you got Gore right--maybe someone should break the news to Brother Nino before he does it again.
• Roger Clemens' performance-enhanced trophy wife now has a name. it's Debbie. it's taken me two days of reading news articles before seeing that in a lede 'graf. welcome to the world of people with names and identities, Debbie Clemens. you fucking cheater.
  
• pausing our blogging to try performance-UNhancing drugs...
• my life is more important than yours. i hope Bobo the Chihuahua bites this guy's lawyerly dick off, and pisses all over his 4 year old son. no, not really. well, ok, kinda. HEY. FUCKFACE. you don't like legal smoke, move to a fucking country where it's not legal to do whatever you want within the sacred graces of your home, like make international telephone calls and use email, browse the Web, order liquor online, and now... smoke cigarettes. oh, wait. my bad. btw, if you saw that chick on the street--what do you think her voice sounds like? just a guess.
  
• a dog once bit my face... off. it hurt less than the movie. also, this dude's got a phat collage header on his site.