Friday, February 19, 2010

nyet with all that glasnost shit (day 4 open thread)

so, things are going pretty much as expected. if you haven't been watching, here's a recap of the US team from our first 3 matches.



debbie mccormack would be, in this scenario, the stewardess, i believe.

on the plus side--hey, we're not the men's team! though, of course, men's curling isn't a real sport, anyway.

and on the other plus side--there are no giant sharks in fucking russia! fuck you, russia! they're all frozen, or hunted to extinction for their caviar.

on the somewhat negative side, there's a 50/50 chance some fucking Inuit throws a harpoon midway through brave US skip debbie mccormack's upper thorax before End 8. you'll know it's gonna happen if you start hearing seal calls.

10 comments:

girthy said...

and, needless-to-be-said (but said-none-the-less)...

I MUST BREAK YOU. not even the claws and fangs of Publisher Cat can save you from the frozen fury about to be un-curled upon thee.

dasvadanya, muthafucka.

WOLVERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINES!!!!!

KACattack said...

So the only teams that have yet to win are mine and yours, Girthy. Go figure. I hereby challenge you to a loser duel, where my Switzerland team shall rip off the heads of your US bitches and shit down their collective throats.
Have a pleasant day.

girthy said...

this color announcer chick is awesome. so far:

1. curling is 'deviously athletic'
2. debbie shoots blanks
3. the russian girls are 'coming uppers'... say it out loud

the duke of confusion said...

The China syndrome 2, this time jack lemon and hanoi jane die of exposure to radiation!

The Ледоруб (The Ice Ax?) said...

I demand a recount, Американский ебливый tauntaun!

It must have certainly been the influence of Vernon Davis. Well, you can have him, Дерьмо едок! We've got Lucy Privivkova and Anna Sidorova — I'll take either of them over the honorary U.S. captain any day of the week and twice on Воскресенье.

And just wait till we bring out our own honorary captain: Борат !

The Ледоруб (The Ice Ax?) said...

Oh, and to heck with all this. This is the curling contest you should be playing:

http://www.vancouver2010.com/mascot/en/game_operationrecycle.php

The Ледоруб (The Ice Ax?) said...

Miracle on Ice, indeed. Vladislav Tretiak and I will have our day, yet, nyet?

And we will then bring home the Order of the Red Banner of Labour back to Mother Россия!

The Ледоруб (The Ice Ax?) said...

Side note: GoogleTranslate cannot come up with a translation for tauntaun. It even had trouble with "snow goat," but I offer you either:

Снежные козочка

Коза снега

Literally, I believe, the first might correctly be: "Snowy the Goat." And the second: "goat of the snow."

The Ледоруб (The Ice Ax?) said...

Пытаются украсть мне золото?

—The Leprechaun

KACattack said...

Good stuff! I can't believe I resisted watch that video until now. Kacattack fail.