Duh-nuh nuh-nuh, duh-Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh...

THREE HOURS PEOPLE. THIS IS YOUR FINAL (OF THE STONE ROBIN ROUND) COUNTDOWN. as is this:

well, stoneheads (rockheads? broomheads? Eveheads?), it all comes down to this.

one game left for every rink.

O, Canadia and Das Swedenland are in the semifinals. TEAM SCOT also is poised to make it in.

meaning it's betwixt China, Japan and the Mirjam Ott All-Stars. why? because TEAM AZUMI upset the Chinese a few hours back, meaning all three teams now stand at 4 - 4!

and it's SUI vs. CHINA in the last match of the Stone Robin, happening somewhere on this disaster of a modern Web site at 10am Universal Freedom Time. meanwhile, TEAM AZUMI must now pull off an even bigger upset--that of Sweden (who is playing for nothing, honestly, as they're in and will be the 2 seed).

based on my extensive amateur breakdown, the semifinal (early, early Wednesday, i think) will look like this:

2 SWE vs. 3 TEAM SCOT

1 CAN vs. 4 Winner of SUI/CHN unless JPN beats SWE--and then TEAM AZUMI should get in because they beat both the other teams head-to-head (and over the last two days, when it was do or seppuku time, too).

unless curling uses obscure, nonsensical rules--which is entirely probable exactly what they do: turns out, if two teams are tied after the Stone Robin, they play a Thunderdome-style DEATHMATCH, where the winner moves on and is fed to hungry Manitobans in the semis, and the loser is fed to a maneating Danish giraffe, who is then shotgunned to the face and subsequently fed to lions--because zoos are for lovers of animals, but not inbreeding.