Rounds 1 and 2 of the Stone Robin

Russian curler Anna Sidorova, shown here before her twice-daily, pre-match shaving routine.

in Das Curlingland, that magical, fairytale setting where petite, face-painted ice princesses gracefully sling Brobdingnagian boulders across the frozen steppes until they are swept into sparkling bits of dust by fiercely dancing Scandinavian she-trolls, no one can here you scream (even if you use a run-on sentence).

however, as we covered the fucking shit out of that meme the last time 'round, here's a list of this She-Curling Death Pool's fresh topics we have planned at girthy--the kind of groundbreaking, hard-hitting, local cable news-quality reporting that will take you behind the scenes of our favorite every-four-years sport, and deep into the ice, much like Ted Williams' severed cranium:

• exactly how do she-curlers get their she-stones? think: Scotland, not Jesus.
• what hidden secrets are embedded in (or beneath) the Ice Cube?
• who is this year's hottest skip? plus, player profiles!
• also, why do they even call them skips? i mean, honestly.
• how much does it cost to start curling--and where can you start?
• and if these costs are too prohibitive, is it possible to purchase a $99 temporary pool from China, leave it up all winter--and use it as your own, homemade, baby-sized, retards-only curling rink without serious risk of brain injury? (this answer is yes, at least, the first part.)

also, here are some results, now through the first two rounds of the round robin.

the frigid fray picks up again at 10am ET with four matches, which you can hopefully watch somewhere on NBC's corpo-clusterfuck-a-lympics website thing. we'll post the link when (if) we can fucking find it.